>>SAM: So, uh, what movie should we go see?>>DIEGO: Uh, I don’t know what’s playing?>>SAM: Um, I heard Captain America was good.>>DIEGO: Captain America?>>SAM: Yeah, it got like a 90% on Rotten Tomatoes.>>DIEGO: Yeah, yeah that sounds good. Let’s go see a movie about a white guy who saves a bunch of white people from another angry white guy.>>SAM: Give me a break, I’m sorry there isn’t Captain Mexico.>>DIEGO: Yeah, see now there’s a movie that I would like to see.>>SAM: What the [BLEEP] would Captain Mexico do? Help people cross the border?>>DIEGO: Every white guy looks exactly like Tom Cruise.>>SAM: Well, every Mexican guy looks El Chapo.>>DIEGO: That’s so not true.>>SAM: It’s so true, it’s so true. I’ll pull up a picture right now.>>DIEGO: Okay, fine. I’ll pull up a picture too.>>SAM: I think we’re both right.>>DIEGO: Whatever bro, my friend Juanpa is Mexican and he looks nothing like El Chapo.>>SAM: Who the [BLEEP] is Juanpa? [KNOCK ON DOOR]>>JUANPA ZURITA: Hey! What’s up guys?>>DIEGO: See I told you.>>SAM: Uh, yeah you’re right. What’s a Mexicans favorite sport?>>DIEGO: What?>>SAM: Cross Country.>>DIEGO: Wow, wow, that’s hilarious did you have some Jewish guy write that joke for you?>>SAM: America’s number one bro and you know it.>>DIEGO: Bro, Donald Trump is about to be your president. That’s number one?>>SAM: Thats [BLEEP] up that’s not even true.>>DIEGO: It’s true bro. I’m not kidding. I mean do you ever watch the news?>>SAM: Yes, I watch the news.>>DIEGO: Or do you just watch Big Bang Theory?>>SAM: So there’s two Mexicans in a car, who’s driving?>>DIEGO: Who?>>SAM: A cop.>>DIEGO: So stupid, what’s it like pretending to enjoy yoga?>>SAM: I don’t know what’s it like putting hot sauce on everything?>>DIEGO: Hm, what’s it like crying at every Pixar movie?>>SAM: Those movies are [BLEEP] sad bro.>>DIEGO: Yeah, yeah, yeah.>>SAM: Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?>>DIEGO: Yeah, yeah, but I saw the Mexican version, it was called “I cannot find Nemo or any of my other children.”>>SAM: That sounds terrible.>>DIEGO: You know what’s terrible?>>SAM: What?>>DIEGO: The fact that white people send their parents to nursing homes.>>SAM: At least Americans know who their kids are.>>DIEGO: What the [BLEEP] are you talking about? I don’t even have kids.>>SAM: That you know about.>>DIEGO: You’re so racist, it’s insane.>>SAM: Are you serious? You’re the racist one.>>SAM: Are you serious?
>>DIEGO: Oh no, no way. You’re one 100% the racist one.>>SAM: Whatever.>>DIEGO: You stupid.>>SAM: Don’t call me stupid bro.>>DIEGO: Stupid. Ouch, you son of a [BLEEP].>>SAM: Ow, ow, ow [BLEEP] man my eyebrow.>>DIEGO: Oh [BLEEP] dude, my bad.>>SAM: You literally head-butted my eyebrow off.>>DIEGO: Yeah wow you look terrible, you look like Fetty Wap.>>SAM: Dude, we gotta stop this [BLEEP]. This is like four episodes in of the same [BLEEP].>>SAM: Can we stop this please?
>>DIEGO: Yeah yeah, I know, I know.>>DIEGO: I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.>>SAM: Yeah. Me too.>>DIEGO: You know what, [BLEEP] it, let’s go see Captain America.>>SAM: Are you sure?>>DIEGO: Yeah, I’m sure, but who’s in it… Tom Cruise?