Magic: The Gathering Office Hours: Karn, Scion of Urza

Magic: The Gathering Office Hours: Karn, Scion of Urza


Oh Oh carne carne silver golem of legend and I’m so happy to have you as a guest lecturer here at the Community College I know you have a class to get to but before that if you’ve got a minute either something I’d love to talk to you about of course carne do professor what is it you wish to discuss so it’s come to my attention that your entire curriculum is just a plan to destroy new phyrexia using an ancient artifact of the brothers war the time is now new phyrexia must be stopped this will be the final karna front ation that is a joke yeah I know anyway of course they must be stopped but why now exactly need I educate you dear professor of the horrors of phyrexian yes I know they are an immense evil I’m just wondering why now specifically now is the time to stop them when you know they’re trapped on new phyrexia and unable to travel anywhere else in the multiverse you forget I was the unwilling father of machines I heard there whispers while my mind was corrupted by the oil they know of other worlds and seek them out sorry this is the same phyrexian oil you dripped all over me written right uh yes I’m a machine we get oil leaks sorry about the whole creating new phyrexia thing and you think it’s a good idea to go back to new phyrexia we’re just a single drop of oil can once again enslave you to them oh no you see I had lost my planeswalker spark and become a regular run-of-the-mill sentient metal golem thus the oil was able to assimilate me as it would any other being I was quite out of carne troll luckily I was liberated when I got a new spark it’s blue now so you just happened to get a new spark the plains walk of Venza teleported his into me he sacrificed himself so that I may live wait did vencer even know you all that well no I mostly hung out with two fairy and Jorah I barely knew vencer nice of him to give his life for yours then he will be missed okay fine so we cannot risk the phyrexian spreading across the multiverse I have traveled this multiverse I have visited so many worlds to see them succumb to the phyrexian would be the greatest of Evil’s okay so how do we stop them with this the Gaul gothy and Silex that’s just a ball a most deadly bowl it packs a punch so it’s a punch bowl make no mistake this artifact was used by Ursa to destroy nearly all of dominar eeeh okay but to be fair what didn’t Ursa used to almost destroy all of da mineira at once I plan to take it to new phyrexia detonated and stop the fire Xen threat once and for all you me no really and I mean this with no disrespect but you I do not understand your a lack of faith Karn you are a peace-loving pacifistic gentle giant who has vowed never to take a single life how exactly are you going to be the one to destroy an entire plane of existence and all the living beings on it I do not take this lightly but the phyrexian x’ are not true life they are machine on life that threatens life everywhere this is something I must do if you really think you can destroy an entire plane you need to prove it to me see this box prove that you can destroy new phyrexia and all the living creatures on it kill this kitten what kill this kitten why do you have a kitten in a box that’s beside the point take it stomp on it crush it no I would never you realize there’s a lot of non phyrexian still left on new phyrexia right thousands of muradin’s who fight every day for their lives across the plains of razor grass multiple animals not unlike this little kitten run wild and three you destroy new phyrexia you kill all of them what you ask of me is a monstrous act killing an innocent creature in such a way proves nothing I refuse I figured as much which is why there is no kitten in this box and yet I would like to see you crush it anyway but why the box is empty but what if there were somehow a kitten in it now it only says kitten on it there’s nothing in it crush it crush it how can I take such a risk just crush the box corn crush the empty box I just hi card not do it exactly I don’t steal jokes from the quantum physics department to prove incorrect points if you cannot bring yourself to crush an empty box for fear of harming a non-existent kitten then you cannot blow up an entire plane of existence I was also concerned a puppy might have somehow gotten in I suggest you find someone else to detonate the Silex anyone else I will endeavor to find someone with as little regard for innocent life as yourself professor Oh hey cheer up I’m sure you can find someone if you concentrate your efforts I always do well thank you so much for letting me voice my concerns to you and if there’s anything I can do to help accept detonating the Cylons for you then just let me know Oh oops how many worlds did you say you’d visited since defeating yaagh ma I’m sure it’s fine [Music] you’re going to need a lot more selections greetings young ones today was a very special episode of tellurian Community College where we took a break from the usual innate human comedy to address a serious issue stepping on boxes labeled kitten your friends may try and get you to step on boxes labeled kitten or maybe you just see a box labeled kitten sitting on the side of the road and think to yourself I should go stomp on that don’t take it from me your corne father steppin on boxes labeled kitten is not cool just say no because there may also be a puppy in there [Music] I am NOT a one-note character nothing is more important than rock I had a headache my head hurts that’s how my powers work my head hurt so I couldn’t do it I’m nuts he-man because captain fluffy crapped on your ceiling all I had to do to overcome my obstacle was believe in myself I hell of an obstacle there by the way but and this video is brought to you by my and many other peoples local games store card Kingdom a brick and mortar pillar of this community as well as the patreon support of viewers such as you these are the people that keep tellurian community college going and growing strong so thank you you 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