RENO 911! – Terry’s Fiancee

RENO 911! – Terry’s Fiancee


OH, FOR CRYING
OUT LOUD. OH, TERRY,
TERRY, TERRY. [SIREN] WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED? SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT! TERRY? TERRY! KNOCK, KNOCK. HI. KNOCK, KNOCK. GUESS WHO? WHO’S THERE? SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT.
WE JUST SAID THAT. WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT? WHAT DO YOU THINK? I’M LETTING YOU IN.
I DIDN’T LET–
OPEN THE DOOR. KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO’S THERE? Both: SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT. HEY, WHAT DO
YOU GUYS WANT? WE HAVE A WARRANT
THIS TIME, LET US IN. OK, HOLD ON. I’M JUST
GOING TO GO TO THE
KITCHEN FOR A SECOND. OK. COME RIGHT BACK. WE’LL WAIT HERE. ‘CAUSE WE HAVE A WARRANT. I’M GONNA MAKE
YOU SOME LEMONADE. OK, OPEN THE [BLEEP]
DOOR FIRST, PLEASE, TERRY. AND WE DON’T
HAVE AN HOUR. OPEN THE [BLEEP]
MIME DOOR. GOOD. [SQUEAK] THE LADY AT THAT
HOUSE OVER THERE– OK. LOOKING OUT
HER WINDOW, AND SEEING– HI. WHAT? WHAT DID SHE SEE? SHE SAW ME, UH,
TOTALLY PARTYING. CAN YOU DESCRIBE
“PARTYING” FOR ME, PLEASE, IN MORE
DETAIL. I GOT A CAKE– MM-HMM. AND THEN I
GOT MY FLUTE– MM-HMM. AND I GO LIKE THIS. ♪ BOO-BOO-BOO-BOO ♪ TERRY, CAN I ASK
YOU A QUESTION? ♪ BOO-BOO-BOO-BOO ♪ WHAT? IS THAT FLUTE
ANOTHER MAN’S
PENIS? WHOA, WHOA!
TIME OUT. HA HA. NO, TIME IN. NO. GAME…[WHISTLES] THERE’S NO TIME OUTS. GAME IN. THERE’S NO TIME
OUTS IN LIFE. WE’RE
BACK IN PLAY. WELL, MAYBE
THE FLUTE EVOLVED. OK, NOW WE’RE
GETTING SOMEWHERE. I SAID MAYBE, I
DIDN’T SAY IT DID. FIRST OF ALL,
I’M NOT GAY. I’M SITTING HERE
WAITING FOR MY GIRLFRIEND
TO PICK ME UP. YOU’RE WAITING FOR
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
TO PICK YOU UP. WHAT’S YOUR
GIRLFRIEND’S NAME
AGAIN, TERRY? SEEEEEMJI. Both: SEEEEEMJI? SPELLED? S-E-E-E-E-E-M, SILENT “J” “I.” [HORN HONKS] OH, LOOK WHO’S HERE!
HI, SEEEEEMJI! HI, BABY! WHAT’S GOING ON HERE? UH, I DON’T KNOW.
THE 5-O’S ALL
UP IN MY GRILL. WHY ARE YOU GUYS
ALWAYS HARASSING HIM? IT’S ABSOLUTELY
RIDICULOUS. HI, SEEEEEMJI. HI, SWEETIE. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU,
SEEEEEMJI. HI, I’M SEEEEEMJI.
THE “J” IS SILENT. THIS IS
MY GIRLFRIEND
SEEEEEMJI. HI. HI. WOW, YOU’RE…
YOU’RE A–A… AN ITEM. WE’RE A COUPLE. WE’RE ENGAGED,
BY THE WAY. WOW. CONGRATULATIONS. I GOT THIS AT
LORD OF THE WEDDING RINGS. IT’S BEAUTIFUL,
ISN’T IT? DOWN THE STREET.
YOU KNOW THAT STORE,
IT’S BEAUTIFUL. [WHISPERS]
We’re expecting. YOU’RE EXPECTING? MM-HMM. WOW! MY GOD! Wiegel:
BY TERRY? BY TERRY. TERRY PUT HIS WIENER– NO, NO, NO. INSIDE YOU? HE HAD, UM,
WE DID IT, UM, WITH, UM,
ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION. OH! BECAUSE HE HAS
A CONDITION NOW,
SO WE DON’T… WE DON’T ACTUALLY… [WHISPERS]
Have sex in that way. OH, OK. THIS IS A LOT
OF INFORMATION. A LOT OF THIS
IS STARTING TO
MAKE SENSE NOW. WE SHOULD PROBABLY
GET GOING. WHEN WE GET IN
THE BEDROOM…WE
GET IN THE BEDROOM, AND WE GET NUDE,
AND THEN I CAN’T GET…
AND I VOMIT. OK. OK. OK.