Stop Buying This Garbage: Magic The Gathering Mystery Cubes and Boxes


Many Magic: The Gathering players won’t stop buying this garbage. Stop buying this garbage. Oh, hello! Funny, you don’t look like a sucker, and yet you continually buy garbage like this products like this are Walmart exclusive MTG mystery boxes, mystery cubes, and mystery power cubes “Extreme mystery”! And they are complete and utter garbage repackaged in boxes that themselves are garbage and sold to you with the express intent of Ripping you off allow me to explain and demonstrate: you see there are really big companies such as MJ holdings which buy and sell a lot of magic product to big-box stores like Walmart When you deal in such a high volume of product sales and shipments there is, of course, a result that you end up with a very high volume of damaged or simply unsold product. For a lot of companies having damaged or unsold product is just a loss; after all what are you going to do with the truckload of last year’s Duel Decks, and busted up and ripped open boxes? Well, if you’re MJ holdings, what you are going to do is repackage that product, hide the contents, and sell those contents for significantly more than they are worth. For example: in these basic mystery cubes you have the promise of two random booster packs, a premium foil card, and a random deck. Gosh! A random deck? That can mean anything! Maybe it’s an Atraxa Commander deck. Those are so expensive now! I’ll spend $20.00 on a mystery cube and maybe get- Oh…it’s half a duel deck. That’s right for the price of a brand new duel deck your mystery cube contains half of a duel deck. In this case, half of the underwhelming Blessed vs. Cursed with the foil Geist of Saint Traft Serving as the premium foil. You also get two extremely rumpled, old, loose, booster packs from old, largely irrelevant sets. You see, the idea here is not just to recoup the losses on damaged or unsold product. The idea here, is in fact to rip YOU, the customer, or perhaps your loving and wonderful grandmother, or devoted and hard-working parents; to rip you the HECK off, so as to literally profit off of damaged or unsold product. And by profit, they mean trick you into spending far more than something is worth. You see, they could very easily remove the packaging from that damaged Duel Deck, put both decks inside, show off the contents instead of hiding them, and sell it to you at a discount given that the products original packaging has been damaged. Oh. Look, this is one half of the absolute worst Duel Deck ever… Speed vs. Cunning. Here, you get Zurgo Helmsmasher’s half of a Duel Deck So whereas the Duel Decks sold for $20, they could say: “Dang it! We have a lot of damaged boxes! Let’s remove the ruined packaging, stick them in shrink wrap, or one of these terrible acrylic boxes, and sell it for $10 each instead of $20. That’ll help eat our wholesale loss, and everyone will know what they are buying when they buy it. But wait! What if, instead of that, we split the Duel Decks into two separate products, and then instead of charging $20 for ONE Duel Deck, we now charge $20 for each HALF of the Duel Deck, and we throw in a couple of worthless loose booster packs and call it a MYSTERY~!” That is what this is, and that is what you are supporting when you buy this G A R B A G E The only “mystery” in a mystery product, is why anyone buys it. Let’s think about this logically: if the contents were worth the cost, wouldn’t you show those contents off? Yeah, but if what you are selling Isn’t worth what you are charging then what you do is hide what it is you are selling. Let’s do a quick study guide: If it says “mystery” on the box. It’s crap. They’re trying to rip you off. Peter Griffin: “A boat’s a boat, but the mystery box could be anything! It can even be a boat! You know how much we’ve wanted one of those!” Lois Griffin: “Then let’s just-” Peter Griffin: “We’ll take the box!” Ha, ha, ha! Oh, Family Guy… Question: in the previous clip, did you WANT to be Peter? You shouldn’t! You see, the joke there is how incredibly stupid Peter is being. Don’t actually be that stupid with your money. It’s a funny joke Hahahaha, but you don’t want to, you know, recreate it in your own life. What about these Power Cubes? These boast a 1 in 4 chance of having an old pack of something like Odyssey as well as two additional boosters, plus two worthless promos and a spin down die. Hey, that’s cool an old pack and- Whoa look, we got a pack of Apocalypse, those go for about $8-9 if I wanted to buy one on the secondary market. Maybe there’s a good Duel Deck half in here, or maybe even a Commander deck! Then we can at least recoup the money we spent and…nope. It’s a free sample deck. Actually, It’s HALF of a free sample deck Because free sample decks come in packs of two now, so that you can play it against your friend. This is ridiculous! It’s the free sample pack again. They’re selling us free sample packs in a $20 mystery box! I mean, I guess we got that old booster and- hey, wait a minute so the mystery box that had the $9 booster pack just happened to have as its included deck: HALF of what local game stores give out as free samples to new players? What a crazy random happenstance! Do you want to buy these yet? Do you think it’s a good gamble? Literally next to the power mystery cube on the shelf for the exact same price at that Walmart was this: I purchased this at Walmart simultaneously and again $20, the exact same price- now THIS is a product! If you can buy it at your local game store, then do so. But if you can’t, if you have to shop at Walmart, fine. But why throw $20 away on A B S O L U T E garbage? Question: Is it possible that one of the random decks is a Commander deck? Answer: Yes, it is possible But remember that this is the least likely thing you are going to get. The only way to get value from this besides perhaps God pulls on the included boosters, is if you are one of the very rare and very few lucky ones to, maybe, perhaps get a resealed Commander deck. Now, first off: You’re highly unlikely to luck out in this way, and will much more likely get half of a Duel Deck, or an old Intro Deck, or as I got: HALF of a free sample deck. Why even take the risk? But second: If you really, really, need a Commander deck, and you’re already willing to shop at Walmart Instead of your local game store, then hey! Look! Spend 6 more bucks and pick one up on Amazon brand-new! There’s several brand-new commander decks that are in the $26 range. Here you go, $26. Oh, maybe the popular Lord Windgrace deck is $30, but don’t just keep handing over $20 bills hoping that you’re gonna get an Atraxa. It’s not going to happen. Will these Mystery Cubes ever be stuffed full of really old, expensive boosters? Like, can you open one and maybe get a Worldwake pack, and an original Innistrad pack, and a Khans of Tarkir pack? NO! They are liquidating recent product. 99% of the contents are from damaged Deckbuilders Toolkits, and Planeswalker decks and the likes. That’s what you’re getting recent junk at a markup Finally, I’d like to take a moment to illustrate how a product such as this can be such an utter ripoff whereas a product such as Battle Decks or Rookie Decks are not. Because I can already hear some of you asking: “But isn’t a Battle Deck, a product you have endorsed and still endorse, or a Starter Cube just grabbing a bunch of garbage cards and selling them to a customer?” No It isn’t battle decks are not a “mystery”; nor are Rookie Decks or Starter Cubes… Card Kingdom might not always be able to provide the exact decklist of what you are getting but they’re not promising you an extreme value, what they are promising you is what you are getting: A ready to play, out of the box deck designed and tested by former pro player Chris VanMeter You select the deck, you get what you select, you can watch the decks being played on Card Kingdom’s stream. There are numerous threads and communities that talk about the differences between the decks, what they got, etc, etc our battle decks built from non chase rare cards Well, yes They are indeed built from cards many of which are not seeing competitive play, but the key word here is “Built” Thought, and care, and effort goes into them. Chris VanMeter isn’t just grabbing 15 unsold Tolarian Scholars and ripping you off. He is a literal design team, that pours through their inventory of singles looking for a way to construct fun, engaging, and balanced decks for play against one another no, you aren’t getting a Noble Hierarch or Jace the Mindsculptor in your $99 Starter Cube, but you are getting a fully ready to draft and play cube for only $99, and one that was constructed with extreme knowledge and care A lot of people can’t take $99 and put a fully playable cube together. People who have repeatedly lobed this criticism at Battle Decks and Starter Cubes are just a pile of unsold jank, have likely never even, say, played with one of them or seen one of them, and when it comes to ripoffs like these Mystery Cubes. I cannot think of anything more dissimilar One of these is finding a way to get you fun to play magic decks and cubes for an extremely low price the other is taking literal damaged products and cheating you by not telling you what you are getting and selling it for double what it is worth. Final conclusion? This garbage is a ripoff I review Magic: The Gathering products on my channel. Mystery cubes and mystery boxes are not actual products mystery cubes and mystery boxes are in fact extreme ripoffs. Don’t let yourself get ripped off. Don’t be a sucker Do not buy these. Buy literally anything else instead. Literally! These mystery cubes do not get a fail they are EXPELLED They sickened me. I hope very much this video has been of some help to you you could help me out, actually for this one, just by showing it to a friend, just by telling a friend, nevermind “Like subscribe, leave a comment” You can help me out by letting me know that, yeah, you want to spread the word to people who might go into Walmart and think $20 for this is a good deal. Explain to them why it is not It isn’t, and I want you to have a good deal I want you to spend your money on whatever it is: Whether it’s booster packs, whether it’s singles, whether it’s accessories; I want you to walk away with something that you’re happy with, that you are not ripped off by. And there are some cases there are sometimes we are a product that you are buying, maybe it’s one that I didn’t like, maybe it’s something that I even gave a ‘D’ to, and I said I don’t think this is a good thing and for you it was the right product and you were happy after you bought it. Well, then I’m happy if you’re happy I’m happy, if you’re feeling that you weren’t ripped off, then that at the end of the day is the most important thing, if you are having fun you were doing Magic: The Gathering right. Money is so hard to come by these days And I don’t want people wasting it, but this product… This product is universally a waste. And this program was made possible thanks to a sponsorship from card Kingdom as well as the Patreon support of viewers such as you, so thank you